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恩琪

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I'VE MOVED!!!! [Nov. 13th, 2009|03:31 am]
It's official!!!! I've moved!!!

My blog I mean.

From now onwards, I will no longer be blogging here. I will be blogging at aletheafu.tumblr.com instead!!!! So please follow me there. =) I'll be happy if you continue to follow me over there and leave me some comments.

This account will still be valid so that I can read my ljfriends' blogs.

Taa-daa everyone! See ya over at my new place! =)

Link3 whispers|whisper

(no subject) [Nov. 12th, 2009|10:46 pm]
I REALLY WANNA HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT AND LIVE ALONE.

Or a huge house and live with friends.

Whatever it is I just wanna leave this place.

NOW.
Linkwhisper

(no subject) [Nov. 11th, 2009|01:39 am]
I'm thinking of shifting over to tumblr because I'm getting bored of this space and this blog.

tumblr seems interesting but I don't quite know how to use it yet...
so if I'm really shifting over, I'll announce the address here once things are up and running.

the openclosedbook might then be really closed for good.


I should go get some sleep now.
Linkwhisper

(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2009|09:57 pm]



你还穿着那些华丽灿烂的衣服吗
或者不需要那些外在证明自已了吧
回想那些单纯其实有点残忍
现实拒绝我们的认真
你还带着那些美丽的回忆睡着吗
还是不需要那些假象欺骗自已了吧
时光总是短暂心里藏着遗憾
遗憾变成我们的牵绊

我知道 认识你 爱上你
了解你 看穿你 并不简单
可是 离开你 失去你 忘记你
我又该怎么办
尤其时常在梦中有你作伴
总教人在梦与醒之间两难

我知道 原谅你 放纵你
包容你 疼爱你 其实不难
宁愿 背叛你 隐瞒你 报复你
我也比较坦然
在这虚幻城市中无人陪伴
我只好在爱与恨之间离散

你还带着那些美丽的回忆睡着吗
还是不需要那些假象欺骗自已了吧
时光总是短暂心里藏着遗憾
遗憾变成我们的牵绊

我知道 认识你 爱上你
了解你 看穿你 并不简单
可是 离开你 失去你 忘记你
我又该怎么办
尤其时常在梦中有你作伴
总教人在梦与醒之间两难

我知道 原谅你 放纵你
包容你 疼爱你 其实不难
宁愿 背叛你 隐瞒你 报复你
我也比较坦然
在这虚幻城市中无人陪伴
我只好在爱与恨之间离散

我知道 认识你 爱上你
了解你 看穿你 并不简单
可是 离开你 失去你 忘记你
我又该怎么办
尤其时常在梦中有你作伴
总教人在梦与醒之间两难

我知道 原谅你 放纵你
包容你 疼爱你 其实不难
宁愿 背叛你 隐瞒你 报复你
我也比较坦然
在这虚幻城市中无人陪伴
我只好在爱与恨之间离散

我知道 原谅你 背叛你
在这虚幻城市中无人陪伴
我只好在爱与恨之间离散

我只好在爱与恨之间选择离散



Linkwhisper

The best policy. [Oct. 24th, 2009|01:07 am]
I just finished watching Flash of Genius. It's a great movie I would say. I know I should be working on my response paper and other projects instead of watching a DVD. I know I know. But whatever.

Well, what I want to say is that... it's a great movie with a sort of but not exactly a total happy ending after a long huge battle between a guy and one big powerful corporation. Yet... just a while into the show, I almost want to switch it off and stop watching because I knew what was gonna happen. I knew that Ford would steal the guy's invention before it even came to that part of the movie and just thinking about it made me feel sick.

Why is it that people can be so manipulative, deceitful and back-stabbing creatures? Although it was a sort of happy ending, with the guy winning the case eventually, what I couldn't stop thinking about after watching the movie wasn't how brave and determined the guy was in fighting Ford or how his kids came to stand by him in this long haul. What I couldn't stop thinking about was why? Why did Ford do it in the first place? Why did they just steal this guy's invention and hard work and just claim it as their own?

Why can't people be honest and just stop all these back-stabbing bullshit? Why can't people be truthful? Is honesty, integrity, and truth worth nothing? Why are people willing to forego these values in the pursuit of success? Is it not possible for all of it to coexist?

I wanted to switch it off and stop watching the movie when I knew that Ford was probably going to steal the guy's invention because I think the world is already so... full of deceit, bullshit and all the other nonsense that makes it bleak and depressing such that I don't wanna see anymore of it. I don't want to see another movie that shows how evil people can be and how sad and grim the world can get.

Yes, yes I know the guy won in the end but all these could have been prevented if Ford didn't steal his invention in the first place, no?

So much shit can be prevented if people would just stop lying to each other and stop trying to step over each other or stab each other in the back.


Sigh. If only...
Linkwhisper

An... experiment? [Oct. 23rd, 2009|10:19 pm]
Hello there.

It's been a while. I'm here to rant.

I feel like I'm walking around in circles, not sure where I'm heading towards. I know I'm walking around in circles and yet I can't seem to exit the loop. Something's missing and I can't quite point my finger at it. All I know is that this sucks.

Watched the movie Longest Night in Shanghai not long ago. I think I kinda understand how the makeup artist felt. He felt stuck in a rut and was searching for something fun, something exciting, something different. Yes, I think I know how that feels.

Where's the spontaneity? Where's the life?

In fact, it's not being stuck that scares me. It's the numbness and helplessness that follows that scares me. It makes me wonder just what in the world I'm doing and what I should do about it. It's kinda like drowning except you realize you're on land and not in the water at all. Do I make sense here? Maybe not but who cares.

Someone once said that it's easier being sad. I think I understand why too. When you're sad, the emotions are clearer and more intense. You know it. You can feel it. It reminds you that you are still alive and able to feel. It seems more tangible and easier to control.

But... eeks. It sucks.


So... what now?


Why not let's all do something different today. Something out of the ordinary. Something not planned. Something not in your list or schedule. Anything goes. And let's see how that feels. Shall we?
Linkwhisper

(no subject) [Oct. 1st, 2009|10:02 pm]
2nd attempt at taking pictures using my russian book spy camera turned out pretty well! At least it wasn't all blank... Haha...



My very cute toy camera... given to me by Cheryl and Janice. Thanks Cheryl and Janice!!! =)

Some of my favourite shots...

 
 




Rest of the shots here...
Linkwhisper

(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2009|09:48 pm]
MY EARPHONES ARE SPOILT AND I CANNOT FIND THE PROOF OF PURCHASE!

DARNDARNDARNDARNDARN!!!!!!

=(=(=(=(=(=(

I'M TERRIBLY UPSET NOW.
Linkwhisper

Let's lie on the fields and whisper secrets to the wind... [Sep. 27th, 2009|09:32 pm]
Hello.
I'm back.

And no worries. I'm fine. =)
She's still my mum and I love her anyway.

Now for more updates....
Actually there's nothing much. Haha... All I can say is that I dread school. I don't feel like going to school and I don't want to do anything school-related. Class is soooo boring this semester. The music lecturer can't stop laughing to herself and say lame things. The american pluralism module is just.... too much. So many readings and nothing I'm interested in. I really don't want to know about America's history. Really. I've never really been a history person. Social psy is fine I guess. At least to me it's the best out of the 3.

What do I want to do then?
I want to go on field trips!! I want to watch all the DVDs that I want to watch!!!! I want to laze around listening to wonderful music!!!! I want to play the piano all day!!!! I want to take more pictures (but first I gotta buy more instax film)!! I want to write letters!!!! I want to go overseas!!!! I want to do craftwork!!!!

When I get my Diana F+ at the end of the year or beginning of next year (courtesy of my darlinggggg friends), I'm gonna go take lots and lots and lots of pictures. Hehe.. =)


Other news...
Daddy's coming back this wednesday!!! =)=)
I'm gonna go buy instax film so we can take some photos when he's back.



There's nothing else for me to say right now I guess....
Other than that this song is my current favourite song of the moment.



First of the Gang - Zee Avi.
Link2 whispers|whisper

I still love you. But... [Sep. 20th, 2009|11:53 pm]
I don't know how I should react right now. It wasn't easy hearing her say those things about me. I know i shouldn't have eavesdropped and I really didn't intend to in the first place. I was just passing by her room as I walked from the living room back to my room and happened to hear her talking about me to my HK relative. What I heard just glued me to the spot in the shadows.

Is this how she sees me? Is this how she sees her own daughter? Am I just considered a huge burden to her? So much so she can't wait for me to start working so she can be rid of this huge burden?

Listening to her say all those things hurts. A lot. I detect the disappointment in her voice and all I could feel was the throbbing ache in my heart and the already huge hole in me widening even more.

I am her daughter, right? Does she see anything good in me? At all?

Not that it really matters anymore but she's made it clear (in her conversation with the HK relative at least) who's her preferred child. The exact words she used when comparing the both of us were 真的是一个天一个地. I guess there's no need to say who she thinks is up there and who she thinks is down there.

I won't deny that I'm terribly hurt. I won't deny that it makes me cry.

This is not the first time you made me cry. It probably won't be the last too.

I just wish that I could be better in your eyes.

I'm sorry.
Linkwhisper

(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2009|05:01 pm]



雙陳記
詞曲 陳珊妮

為自己劃一根火柴 只點燃卑微照亮的貧窮
陪自己看一場煙火 短暫的美麗有淡淡哀愁
如果連狂奔都沒有風 凝結的眼淚都不感動
如果剩下一點點燦爛 我們該不該揮霍

我們唱別人的情歌 只因為自己的都太沈重
我們說別人的故事 只因為自己的都太難懂
我們只要跟別人一樣 就能得到輕微的解脫
如果還有一點點熱情 我們該不該盲從

這是最好的時代? 這是最壞的時代!
不是消費一場浪漫可以訴說
這是最好的時代? 這是最壞的時代!
這不是我們做得好的夢

這是最好的時代? 這是最壞的時代!
不是消費你我青春就能擁有
這是最壞的時代? 這是最好的時代!
這不是我們做得起的夢

要就要活得轟動
要就要唱個轟動
要就要活得轟動
要就要唱個轟動

__________________________________


“这是最好的时代,这是最坏的时代;这是智慧的时代,这是愚蠢的时代;这是信仰的时期,这是怀疑的时期;这是希望之春,这是失望之冬;人们面前有着各样的事物,人们面前一无所有;人们正在直登天堂,人们正在直下地狱”

-
狄更斯

Linkwhisper

an update of sorts and a confession. kind of. [Sep. 14th, 2009|01:07 am]
Recently, I find myself to be restless, tired, and just simply zoning out in general.

Sometimes there's a waging war between the voices in my head. I listen to them talk about all sorts of things, jumping from one topic to another without a hitch. It's like a symphony, except that it's discordant. Highly discordant.

Other times I find myself talking to the Father. Rambling on and on and on such that any normal human being would probably have been extremely irritated and hit me in the face already. Thankfully God's not like that.

Then there are times when I just go blank.

_____________


Recently, I've also been addicted to chocolate. Dark chocolate to be exact.

It's kinda funny because I normally don't really like to eat chocolates. I'll have like two bites and then feel that it's enough. However, I've been eating so much dark chocolate recently it's getting scary.

The other day, I was giving tuition when suddenly I started craving for dark chocolate AGAIN. God must have heard my craving because suddenly my tutee handed me a present saying "Miss Angie, this is your belated teacher's day present. Oh by the way, it's dark chocolate". How amazing. I couldn't stop smiling to myself.

_____________


Recently, I've also been thinking about the future quite a bit.

The current "plan" is to go over to Shanghai to work once I graduate. Before, I felt quite sure about the "plan". In fact, I couldn't wait for it to happen. But recently, I started having some doubts. I don't know what. I was talking to Weiguang about it, asking him if I should go. His reply was, "why not? what's stopping you?". Honestly, I don't know.

I need wisdom and guidance that only God can give.

_____________


"These feelings won't go away. They've been knocking me sideways. I keep thinking in a moment that time will take them away. These feelings won't go away."

_____________


Even though I've only known you for not so long, I find myself caring about you quite a bit. Maybe because you do remind me of myself. I really see quite a bit of myself in you. In some way, it makes me want to care for you and maybe even protect you so that you won't make the same mistakes that I've made, so that you won't turn out... like me. I know that's pretty presumptuous of me. I'm sorry. Forgive me?

I kinda see you as a little sister. Kind of like the little sister I never had. I find myself enjoy hanging out with you and I don't know why. =) You're just a great person to be with I guess. =)

Happy 1 month and 14 days, xiao mei mei. =)

_____________


Linkwhisper

CUT HAIR AGAIN! [Aug. 23rd, 2009|11:13 pm]
Went to cut my hair again because I got so sick of it. Hahaha...


Cut my hair again! Just... Shorter with uneven sides. Haha on Twitpic

Click on it for larger image.

Just... shorter with uneven sides.

I think I'm just addicted to having my hair cut.

I think it's way too hard for me to keep my hair long. I will be too tempted to cut it before it can go beyond my shoulders.

And I like my stylist because he's so funny.
I enjoy making fun of him as well. =P

I'm actually quite sick of my fringe as well. Might change it to a side parting soon......
Linkwhisper

The Famished Road [Aug. 21st, 2009|07:20 pm]
In the beginning there was a river. The river became a road and the road branched out to the whole world. And because the road was once a river it was always hungry.

In that land of beginnings spirits mingled with the unborn. We could assume numerous forms. Many of us were birds. We knew no boundaries. There was much feasting, playing, and sorrowing. We played much because we were free. And we sorrowed much because there were always those amongst us who had just returned from the world of the Living. They had returned inconsolable for all the love they had left behind, all the suffering they hadn't redeemed, all that they hadn't understood, and for all that they had barely begun to learn before they were drawn back to the land of origins.

There was not one amongst us who looked forward to being born. We disliked the rigours of existence, the unfulfilled longings, the enshrined injustices of the world, the labyrinths of love, the ignorance of parents, the fact of dying, and the amazing indifference of the Living in the midst of the simple beauties of the universe. We feared the heartlessness of human beings, all of whom are born blind, few of whom ever learn to see.

- Ben Okri
Link2 whispers|whisper

The obligatory post-party post. [Aug. 19th, 2009|01:35 am]
Finally, the party is over and I'm officially 21.

No more fussing over invites, venue, food, band, guestbook, cake... etc.

It was tiring but I'm really glad I had it. Like what Hui Mei said, the next birthday party will probably be when I'm 60.

I'm happy that this party has allowed me to make new friends (a.k.a Venessa and Rebecca) and catch up with old friends (be it from Nav.. SA.. etc.).

I LOVE YOU GUYS

Thanks to my parents who allowed me to have this party and kindly sponsored it.

Thanks to Hui Mei for convincing me to have the party, helping me to plan it, doing the decorations, being in charge of the guest book and taking of polaroids.

Thanks to the people at Casual Poet (Rebecca and Venessa) for letting me use their store, helping me get beanbags and cushions, and being so accommodating to my incessant emails, smses and questions.

Thanks to Cliffton and Sebastian for being my band.

Thanks to Peng Hui for the sound system.

Thanks to Mummy and Grandma for preparing most of the food.

Thanks to 7th Manna for being able to provide me with a cake on such a last minute notice (I called them up the night before the party!)

Thanks to all those who went early and stayed back late to help me prepare the place and clean up the place (namely Hui Mei, Natalie, Cliffton, Sebastian, Peng Hui, Bernice, Clarissa, Roger, Jeremy, Weiguang, Edgar, Rebecca, and Venessa).

Thanks to Wenzheng and Linfeng for helping me to move away the couch so that there would be a bigger space.

Thanks to Wenzheng for being my mobile table during cake-cutting and helping me with the distribution of the cake.

Thanks to all those from Nav or were from Nav for praying for me post-party (Hui Mei, Natalie, Cliffton, Sebastian, Peng Hui, Bernice, Edgar, Jeremy, and Weiguang).

Thanks to Kerri for shopping with me for an outfit for the party.

Thanks to David for sending my Mummy, Grandma, and Brother home.

Last but not least,
Thanks to all those who attended my party.
I'm touched and really appreciate it.



Let's do this again 39 years later. =)




 








For rest of the polaroid pictures, click here
Linkwhisper

erh... [Aug. 4th, 2009|01:02 am]
I know what else to add to my wishlist!!!

Threadless tees!
www.threadless.com

Blend apparrel tees!
blendapparel.com/

Yeah... I'm still pretty much a tees and jeans girl. Hahaha..

The Threadless 12 Club sounds cool... Exclusive tees every month!!!
www.threadless.com/12club


11 more days till my party...
Linkwhisper

Snip snip snip! [Aug. 2nd, 2009|05:32 pm]
Went to cut my hair again today. It's only been a month since the last haircut but I was seriously too bored with it.

Bangs are still there... just that it's now a shorter bob! Wheeeee~

Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

Yay? Nay?
What do you think?

PS. Pardon the eyebags.
Linkwhisper

THE (nonsense) wishlist. [Jul. 22nd, 2009|10:38 pm]
Because people have been asking just what do I want for my birthday, a question I really don't know how to answer, I decided to just create a wishlist so that I can tell anyone who asks to just refer here.

However, I need to state that this is done just for fun. I totally do not expect anyone to get me the items on this wishlist because most of the items on the list are just... wishes. HAHA. Totally out of the budget for people. So please don't feel obliged to get my stuff from this list. It's really the thought that counts. =) Just DON'T get me soft toys.

So here goes...

1. A boyfriend (HAHA... This is more like what my mum wants me to have rather than what I want now)

2. A lomo cam!!! (Diana F+, Holga, Coloursplash, LC-A+.... woohoo!)

3. Macbook Pro!

4. A typewriter. (Always wanted one although it's so ancient. Haha...)

5. CD vouchers.

6. Pure Yoga membership

7. Lasik!!

8. Car with chauffeur (So i can stop taking public transport with smelly school children!)

9. Clothes (Vouchers would do so I can choose my own clothes. =P)

10. Book vouchers

11. As you can see I'm kinda running out of things to list

12. Bag (Tempted to get another one...)

13. Sunglasses (One that would actually fit me and look nice on me)

14. An overseas trip!!!! (I want I want I want!!!!)

15. An epilator

16. Coffee machine

17. My own apartment

18. Shoes

19. Ok I really don't know what else to add. Can't think of anymore.

20. Actually you can give me money too. I wouldn't mind. =P


So there. You really don't have to get me stuff on that list! It's the thought that counts. You can get my anything you think would suit me or I might like. =)

JUST DON'T GET ME SOFT TOYS. I'll hate you.
Linkwhisper

are you coming? [Jul. 22nd, 2009|10:32 pm]
The first batch of invites are already sent/given out.

If you've received one, please reply as soon as you can so I know how many people are coming. =)

If you haven't received one, don't fret because I haven't given out everything yet!

I hope to see all of you there.

=)
Linkwhisper

The lion sleeps tonight... [Jul. 22nd, 2009|03:04 am]
I have a new favourite song!!!!





Oh gosh. They are amazing.

In the jungle... the mighty jungle... the lion sleeps tonight...
Linkwhisper

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